The Looney Tunes Show Fan Mail

Title card


Daffy: Welcome to epithode #8 of The Looney Tunes Show Fan Mail, hothted by yours truly, me! The greatetht and motht rethpected--"

Crusher: *Punches Daffy*

Daffy: *Hits Wall* "Oh, jutht athk thumb questions already!"

Question #1

Daffy: "Thith question was athked by Doctor Bugs: Sylvester Junior, where the Heck are you? Sometimes you are with your father, other times you are mysteriously absent. What's the story?'"

Sylvester: "Don't judge me. I don't want my thun theeing me get beat up by a tiny, little bird."

Junior: "What was that, Father?"

Sylvester: "Uh, nothing."

Question #2

Daffy: "Thith question was athked by Teleram: Foghorn - which came 1st, the chicken or the egg?'"

Foghorn: "That's, I say, that's easy: the chicken came 1st. Then the chicken ate the egg."

Daffy: "How's that for irony?"

[Crusher picks up iron]

Daffy: "Not that iron!"

[Crusher groans; puts iron down]

Question #3

Daffy: "Thith question was athked by Teleram: Dear Bugs, what do you like most 'bout carrots?'"

Bugs: "Simple: they're good for you. Unlike Daffy's cartoons. Hehehehe."

Daffy: "You're dethpicable."

Bugs: "Ain't I a stinker?"

Question #4

Daffy: "Thith question was athked by Doctor Bugs: 'Daffy, what do you HATE most about Tina?'"

Bugs: "Besides knowing that she gets paid to pretend to like you?"

Daffy: "I hate you."

Bugs: "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

[Crusher smashes Monopoly board]

Bugs: "See? Like that."

Question #5

Daffy: "Thith question was athked by Teleram: Dear Bugs, Daffy, and pretty much everybody on the show- Do you like Mr. Bean?"

Pete: "Duh, beans give you gas. Eeeeeh!"

Bugs: "Especially Daffy's beans. He-he-he!"

[Daffy groans in anger]

Question #6

Daffy: "Thith question was, once again, athked by Teleram: 'Well, I can't say the answer was satisfactory... but I guess it's hard to think of an answer and make it funny. Speaking of which, can I do the next ep?'"

Bugs: "Uh, Daffy, I don't think that question was meant for us. I think it was meant for the producer, Doctor Bugs."


Sam: "Keep it quiet in there! How am I supposed to rob this bank with all the noise you're a-makin'?"

[Cops arrive and chase Sam]

Daffy [walks offstage]: "I'm taking 5."

Question #7

Daffy: "I'm back." [Clears throat] "Thith question was athked by Doctor Bugs: 'Bugs, please answer this question descriptably as possible. What's your opinion of Rrpear?"'

Bugs: "Basically, he's as respectable as Elmer."

Elmer: "Hey, what're you saying?"

Bugs: "Just roll with it, Doc. You get paid, remember?"

Daffy: "As long as you don't inthult the executives, that is."

Question #8

Daffy: "Thith question was athked by Teleram: 'You made 2 accounts? Why?"'

Bugs: "You sure you're not a genuine 'smart-aleck,' Daffy?"

Daffy: "That depends; do thmart-alecks get paid?"

Bugs: "Only minimum wage."

Daffy: "Then no; I am not a thmart-aleck."

Question #9

Daffy: "Thith question was athked by Teleram: 'Speedy Gonzales, why are you so fast?'"

Speedy: "ACME Speed Tacos."

Daffy: "Wow, you're quick."

[Awkward silence]

Bugs: "Really, Daffy? Really?"

Daffy: "Hey, I'm not thmart, alright? I can barely poke a thtraw in a Capri-Thun Pouch."

[Crusher tries futilely to poke straw in Capri-Sun Pouch]

Crusher: "It's so haaaaard!" [Cries]

Daffy: "I know, right?" [Cries]

Bugs: "Oh, brother." [Rolls eyes]

Question #10

Daffy: "Thith final question was athked by Doctor Bugs: 'Pete Puma, since Stan Freberg is still alive, why isn't he voicing you on The Looney Tunes Show?!'"

Pete: "Duh, I think he said it was because they wouldn't pay him enough or something."

Bugs: "Funny; that's exactly why Daffy didn't attend Mel Blanc's 75th birthday all those years ago. Hehehehe!"

Daffy: "O.K., thath it. Show's over. Thtutter away, Porky."

Porky: "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"

[Cops continue chasing Sam]

Cop #1: "Freeze, dirtbag!"

Sam: "No, I didn't do anything wrong, I swear! AHHHHH!"

Voice Cast

Voice Artist Character(s)
Rarity4President Pete Puma, Yosemite Sam, Speedy Gonzales

Daffy Duck, The Crusher, Elmer Fudd, Sylvester, Sylvester Junior, Porky Pig

Doctor Bugs Bugs Bunny
ProfessorDuck Cops

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.